Bleeding Love
by x-bellatrix-black-x
Summary: Bellatrix Black Lestrange - she cared ... once upon a time ... Bella/Roddy oneshot


**_---BLEEDING LOVE---_**

_a bellatrix lestrange fanfiction_

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**(:A/N:** Ok, I wrote this a while ago, a few weeks after Leona Lewis released Bleeding Love to the world. I was kind of obsessed with it, and (as I still am), totally obsessed with Bellatrix, Helena Bonham Carter, the Dark Side, ect ... So I wrote this. It'sa little bit dramatic nearer the end, but hey, we'll live! Enjoy and please comment! **:N/A:)**

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"I now ask the jury," shouted Crouch as I glared up at him, the hate inside me roaring to get out all the while, "To raise their hands if they believe, as I do, that these crimes deserve a lifetime sentence in Azkaban."

I watched as the jury began to raise their hands, slowly in unison. My hatred was so strong now. I hated Crouch, I really did! I hated the stupid Longbottoms! If they had given us the information, we wouldn't have tortured them! It would have been instant death. But no, they insisted on being difficult. Oh, the hatred I felt towards them. Barty Crouch junior was screaming for mercy from his father again now. Oh I hated him too. The traitory! Betraying the Dark Lord with a few words that couldn't make up for the damage he helped us with.

But the hatred, and remaining happiness I felt was escaping rapidly as the Dementors glided back over to us, but still, I rose quietly from my seat and joined my husbands side, before turning my eyes on Crouch and calling,

"The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Through us into Azkaban, we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!"

Though my words were useless with Crouch, who did nothing but glare back at me and bellow that he had no son to young Barty, I felt suddenly a lot better. Going to Azkaban for our Lord was just a simple task we had to do. The Dark Lord would return, more powerful and very alive, willing to kill and murder all pathetic Muggles and Mudbloods and dispose of all filthy Halfbloods and Bloodtraitors that got in his way! Yes, he would return! One day, he would come back to us!

I was so lost in my own thoughts I'd hardly realised that Crouch had ordered the Dementors to lead us out of the dungeon and down the long, chilly corridor. Rodolphus was by my side, Rabastan on my other, Crouch's son being dragged along pathetically behind us. Rodolphus leaned sideways and whispered in my ear.

"We wait Bella, you're right, he will return to us."

"And reward us." I nodded, "We must have faith in he who is all-powerful and for-knowing."

We continued down the rest of the corridor without speaking so that only Crouch's whimpers could be heard. I was suddenly aware of the cold clamminess I felt surrounding me, pressing in on my mind and dragging each and every happy thought away from me. I tried to hide my thoughts from the Dementors; I gritted my teeth as though the thoughts were escaping from my very mouth, not from my heart. Every happy memory was evaporating before me, I could feel it, but the one thing that kept me upright on my feet was knowing that the Dark Lord would return someday, and that when he did, Rodolphus and I would be able to carry on with our honourable serving. Soon, I was planning out in my mind what would happen when the Dark Lord returned and then, quicker then expected, all of us where travelling across the dark ocean to Azkaban.

The corridors here were dark, the walls dank, the ceilings dripped water steadily, the floors were half covered in green slippery mould, everything was dead. The cells we passed where full of prisoners either hunched up on the floor near the wall, or clawing out at us with their hands. I pushed through them, disgusted. This was were we were supposed to stay!? With commoners who had probably only murdered to get at some food? No. This wasn't justice! My insides flared up angrily again.

The Dementors handed us to six Aurors at the end of the passage. Five of them kept their wands on me, Rodolphus and Rabastan as they lead us down another dark corridor, Crouch, who was unconscious because of the Dementors love of feeding on happiness, was simply floating in mid air behind us under the Aurors control.

The corridor twisted away from the other prisoners. Here there were cells not with cold iron bars, but stonewalls and hard metal doors baring the way out. No, we weren't staying next to commoners; it was much worse. I stole a glance at Rodolphus; he was staring ahead but his eyes kept flicking to every stone cell we passed. Finally, we reached the end of the dark corridor and were shoved into the wall, the Auror's wand pointed threateningly at us.

"You're going to be spending a little time down here," one of them said coldly, "Away from everyone else and hopefully, we'll forget you're down here and then you'll starve to death."

"What difference will that make?" Rabastan spat, "By the looks of it, you starve everyone else in this entire damn place too."

"Shut it you!" another Auror turned his wand on Rabastan, glaring, "I think we should teach this one how to talk to us before he goes in his separate cell like the others."

Rabastan growled angrily at the Auror.

"The Dark Lord will return and free us!" I snapped, "You wait and you'll be sorry!"

The first Auror who spoke turned to stare at me, looking me up and down. Suddenly, he leaned forward and tugged my wedding ring off my finger before I knew what was happening. As if my anger didn't need topping already, I was fuming. They couldn't just take my wedding ring like that! It was all I had left until the Dark Lord came back to us!

"This should bring in some Galleons for us, don't you think Lestrange? Or is it just cheap gold? - all Slytherin's are like that, cheap and nasty. I dunno. 'Bout time we caught you and all. Been causin' us some real trouble down at the Ministry, 'aven't you, Miss Lestrange?"

"It's Madam actually." I glared at him, buzzing with annoyance.

"Well, Madam," said the Auror, emphasizing the word, "We've had enough trouble wi' you and you're lot already, so no funny business alright! C'mon," he said to his fellows, "Lets get these lots in their cells."

He grabbed my arm roughly and tugged me back up the corridor slightly. While he was opening my cell door, a stole a glance back at Rodolphus who being dragged in the opposite direction.

"He will return!" he shouted to me, "Stay strong, Bella, he will come back!"

I lost sight of him suddenly as he was pulled round the corner and the Auror holding my arm pushed me inside my cell.

"Shall we see how long it takes because you loose that nasty tone of voice?" he mocked, before slamming the door.

I heard the keys turn in the lock and suddenly, the coldness pressed in on me. Through the thin, bared window set into the back wall, I could see the sky. Darkness was all that remained; a great inky blue blanket had covered all the stars in the sky and blocked the pale moon from view, and in fact the only thing it had not managed to shield was the Dementors gliding around. I was alone now. Alone in the world. Abandoned by my happiness, by my husband and by my Lord through no fault of their own. My eyes started to prickle. Soon, I could feel the warm tears spilling down my cheeks. If anyone else were here, I wouldn't have dared show them, but as I was completely alone, it was best to let them fall freely. I flung myself onto the floor, onto the thin little rag which was supposed to keep me warm. I didn't care. My tears would fall from my eyes until the day I died.

_Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain, Once or twice was enough, And it was all in vain, Time starts to pass, Before you know it you're frozen_

Time passed slowly. True to their word, the Auror's only brought food down once a week, and that was if I was lucky. They always found me in the same place – my body curled up in the old rag while lying on the freezing floor, my eyes not focused, just staring blankly out of the window. They made jeers, said that "my precious Lord" wouldn't return, that he was too scared to dare show his face again. And everytime, I made no reply, no gesture to show that I'd heard them or cared. Almost a year later, they were ignoring me completely. Food came more seldom but I rarely ate. I wasn't hungry. Never. Hungry for my Lord to return to power, yes, but not for food. The Auror's laughed among themselves loudly outside my cell, claiming I was going mad already, that even my faith in the Dark Lords return was deceasing.

_But something happened, For the very first time with you, My heart melted into the ground, Found something true, And everyone's looking round, Thinking I'm going crazy_

I wasn't true. I was neither going crazy nor losing faith in the Dark Lords return. More and more the Aurors stood talking outside my cell – purposely, I think, to make me loose the will to live. A little more time passed and news came of young Barty Crouch's death. It didn't surprise me when they laughed about it. He was weak and hopeless; it had only been a matter of time. He, unlike me, had lost the will to live, he'd lost his faith in the Dark Lord long ago, he'd lost the only bit of happiness that I was so desperately clinging onto. Yet another year came around. The cuts in my right arm grew steadily as, with every day that passed, I continued to mark them off with my penknife. Soon, there were too many scars to count, too many to miss so then, my silver knife was taken away. The only thing that kept me going though, was the thought of my Lord. Well, that and the love of my dear husband. He too, I knew, was waiting in another cell like me for his Lord. I hoped, but a pang of guilt, that he missed me as much as I did him.

_I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you, They try to pull me away, But they don't know the truth, My heart's crippled by the vein, That I keep on closing, You cut me open and I – Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love, Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, You cut me open_

Another year passed again. The Auror's had made it a routine to stand outside my cell, talking as loudly as they could so their voices would carry to me. Until that day, my ears had only listened, my eyes had only stared, my body hadn't done anything except lay motionless on the cold floor. This time, it was different.

_Trying hard not to hear, But they talk so loud, Their piercing sounds fill my ears, Try to fill me with doubt, Yet I know that the goal, Is to keep me from falling_

I heard their voices as I lay there; half awake, half asleep, watching the Dementors swirl around in the air outside my small window. The Aurors were talking more quietly then usual, but I listened hard. I always did. If any news of the Dark Lord came about, they, working at the Ministry, would know quite quickly.

"He's going down quite easily. Not eating, barely sleeping and yet convinced that You-Know-Who'll come back soon. How mad is he? I mean yeah, his wife thinks – no, is determined – that he'll come back but she doesn't say anything about it."

"She ignores me all the time. I'd have thought, after what she was like out on the streets, that she'd be trying to escape at any occasion. But she hasn't."

"Least her attitudes changed."

"Yeah but too much too quickly. She started ignoring me only days after she came in."

"Scary isn't it? You know, the effect this place has on people? Still, they don't have my pity – what they did to the Longbottoms … terrible … such lovely people. And what of their son too? How old will he be now?"

"Neville? Oh he should be…around…four or five."

There was a short silence before an Auror spoke up again.

"We should move them into different cells soon though. The younger of the Lestrange brothers is always making an attempt for freedom. Noticed a – rather large – hole in the wall the other day. Must have been trying to tear the walls apart."

"Stupid idiot. Everyone knows you can't break out of Azkaban."

"Yeah. Wonder how long it took him without his wand? Reckon he's been working at it for months looking at the size of it. No ones been in there to give him food for a while. Didn't notice anything last time."

"We'll move them later today then. Better give her" – I guessed he meant me – "Something to eat as well. Not that she'll touch it. They're too much like each other; her and her husband."

"What? Don't eat, don't' sleep, never seem to move?"

"Mmhmm. She's always lying on the floor, he's always leaning on the wall staring out of the window, glazed expression, you know. Well, he has been the last few days. Can you blame him though? After that Dementor attack?"

I sat up quickly. Dementor attack? On my Rodolphus. I couldn't believe my ears. My whole body ached from lack of use as I crawled on hands and knees over to the door, suddenly aware of my starving hungry.

"Can't say no to it. Vicious, they were that day. Took me and another seven to get them out of his cell. Even Crouch had to come down here and when he did, they were starting on him."

"Bloody hell. I suppose they're useful but they scare me."

There was another silence. I pressed my ear against the door, desperate to hear more about Rodolphus, but also pleading that there wouldn't be anything more to hear.

"How is the woman looking anyway? She still carrying a bit of weight or is she just skin and bones now? That's what he's like, her husband. Doesn't look like we've been feeding him at all."

"She's pretty thin now. Getting more and more noticeable everyday. She'll end up starving herself, she will. Surprised she hasn't already. Don't know how long it's been since I found an empty plate in her cell."

My stomach growled at the very words. Something had set me off. I was hungry, so hungry, starving. I was only pleased that I'd get food tonight. I knew I'd die without it. My Lord was gone for now, gone until further disappearances started to occur. Rumours would fly up and we'd soon be free after that, but if I didn't get food soon, I'd die before that great day ever came.

Later that day we were moved as the Aurors had said. We were being lead down the corridor without me noticing. All that mattered was Rodolphus. I didn't know, I didn't want to know how he looked. But yet at the same time, I craved to see him. My happiness had completely warn away over the four years I'd spent locked in that same cell, lying on the same old floor, staring up at the same old sky and the same old clammy Dementors gliding past my window.

My eyes scanned the whole corridor ahead of me when at long last, I heard footsteps up ahead in the darkness. I saw a beam of blue light from an Aurors wand floating towards me and the one guarding me – he was keeping a tight grip on my arm but I wasn't planning to run off anyway; what with the Dementors outside too, I hardly had enough energy to drag myself down the corridor.

The light was drawing closer. I heard an Auror's voice.

"Is that the woman you've got there, Pâtés?"

"Yeah." shouted Pâtés into the darkness and pulling me forward into the beam of light. My face fell and I knew it showed but I didn't care. Rabastan Lestrange looked gaunter then I had even seen him. Obviously, I looked ill myself as he stared at me, his eyes looking up and down my anorexic-like figure. I desperately wanted to ask where Rodolphus was. I wanted to so much but, even if the Auror hadn't been keeping his wand pressed against my back, I still wouldn't've had the energy to open my mouth.

"You seen Bode?" my Auror asked, "He's supposed to be bringing the other Lestrange."

My heart leapt suddenly at the mention of his name but the other Auror shook his head,

"No. Not since this morning. Although, not one bit like him to be late is it? Don't suppose the other one's dead d'you?"

My Auror shrugged. The other grinned menacingly at me.

"D'you hear that Missy? You're husband might not be alive. Bode isn't here and he normally – "

"Sorry I'm late!" came a voice from up the corridor. The sound of footsteps grew louder steadily and Bode got nearer and nearer. My heart was racing now. Part of me wanted to see Rodolphus so badly, another part of me didn't want him to see me like this, and I didn't want to see him in the state he was in.

But the footsteps continued to grow louder and soon there was a bright blue light bobbing down the corridor towards us. My legs were wobbling dangerous beneath me. I wanted to sit down now at that very minute. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. I wanted desperately to forget everything and live like there was no tomorrow, no yesterday, no anything. I wanted to collapse in the middle of the floor. I saw Rodolphus as the beam of light was only inches away. I wanted to run to him, hug him, talk to him, make him save me from everything, everyone. Though my legs buckled from underneath me as I tried to move again, and it was him who came running to me, shaking off Bodes grip and crouching at my side.

_But nothing's greater, Than the rush that comes with your embrace, And in this world of loneliness, I see your face, Yet everyone around me, Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe_

"Bella!" he whispered, trying to remain by my side. It was almost impossible for him. I could see the Auror's fighting to drag him away, fighting to stop Rabastan from helping his brother, trying to stop everything from going wrong. I silently preyed it would. By the light of their wands I could just make out his face, gaunt, white and dead looking.

_I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you, They try to pull me away, But they don't know the truth, My heart's crippled by the vein, That I keep on closing, You cut me open and I – Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love, Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, You cut me open_

It was like I had wanted. My eyelids were closing over my dark eyes, everything was closing itself out. Maybe I was going to sleep forever. Maybe Rodolphus would come with me. I wanted to sleep forever. I wanted him with me. I could see him fighting off the Aurors who were shooting curses and spells in all directions. I myself fought to keep my eyes open for one last time as Rodolphus was shouting to me.

"Bella don't' give in! Fight Bella! Don't lie down on me! Open your eyes Bella! Rabastan, help me!"

His brothers muffled shouts came from further down the corridor. Everything seemed to different and far away from me. Rodolphus wasn't coming with me. My last bit of strength was fading.

_And it's draining all of me, Oh they find it hard to believe, I'll be wearing these scars, For everyone to see, I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you, They try to pull me away, But they don't know the truth, My heart's crippled by the vein, That I keep on closing, You cut me open and I –_

The darkness was covering itself now. I could feel my breath, tight in my chest as it rose and then fell. With the one bit of dying strength I did have left in me, I stretched out my right hand and gripped Rodolphus'. It was excruciatingly painful. The scars on my wrist didn't bother me, but the ones still open seared with pain so unimaginable I didn't believe it was real. I kept holding on. More pain wasn't how I wanted to end life, but I wanted to have Rodolphus with me, this was the only way. He stared down at my wrist in between throwing the Aurors off and ducking from curses.

"What have you done to your wrists?" I heard him cry very distantly. I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer to reply. The last thing I heard was him shouting my name over the crash's as the spells hit the walls.

_Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love, Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, You cut me open and I –_

My whole body was throbbing. I was still weak, so weak. I only just managed to lift my head off the floor. A different cell. I wasn't dead. My dear Rodolphus was nowhere. I sat up wearily, staring round this new room. The walls were still damp and the floor still freezing and yet it had a familiar scent lolling in it.

As I reached over for the dry bread and water that lay by the door, I couldn't help but keep taking in the scent. It was familiar. Familiarly sweet … as if someone I knew had been in this room not long before. I let it cover me. Stuffing the bread into my mouth hungrily, I took in a deep breath. The scent was very familiar … almost like being back home again.

Home. Such a lovely word. How I longed to go home to my family – I wanted to see Narcissa again, Lucius, even Draco, but most of all, as well as the Dark Lord, I wanted to see – but that was it wasn't it …! Rodolphus. I inhaled another breath of the air. Of course, Rodolphus. The only thing that would keep me going. The scent of him wouldn't remain long, I knew, but just to know that he had been in here set my mind back to normal. He was waiting for his Lord to come, just like me. And when finally the Dark Lord did return to us, we would be ready to get out of the cold draughty cells. Until then I would wait. The one thing that spared me on had come back. I knew now. There was something left worth fighting for …

_Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love, Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love…_


End file.
